The Hard One Needs Me Most

One of them takes about seventy percent.

Not because they are demanding for the sake of it. There is a real need there, and you can see it, and the need is genuine, and meeting it is right.

But seventy percent is seventy percent, and it comes out of the same person who has the other children, and a job, and a house, and an evening that is only so long.

So the quiet one gets less. The easy one gets almost nothing, and is fine, and being fine is exactly why they get almost nothing, and you know that too.

And you cannot say any of this out loud, because it sounds like a complaint about a child who cannot help it.

I am not going to tell you how to balance it. That is a system and this is not a place that hands those out, and you have already tried three versions of it in your head at one in the morning.

Those that are with young

There is a line in Isaiah about a shepherd, and the last clause of it is the one nobody quotes and the one you need.

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. (Isaiah 40:11, King James Version)

Those that are with young. That is not the lambs. That is the ones doing the carrying.

The verse has two groups in it and gives them two different treatments. The lambs get gathered and carried. The ones with young get led gently, at a pace they can manage, because they are already loaded.

You are in the second group in that verse, and the gentleness there has never once been aimed at the strong ones. Isaiah 40:11 says he shall gently lead those that are with young, and the Holy Spirit is the one who brings that into a house where somebody is running at seventy percent output.

And notice the word gently is attached to the leading and not to the carrying.

The ones with young are not picked up. They keep walking. What changes is the pace, which is the only thing that can change for somebody who cannot put their load down.

You are led at a pace that accounts for what you are carrying, and there has never once been an expectation that you set it down. It is written in Isaiah 40:11 that those with young are gently led rather than relieved, and the Spirit of God is the one who adjusts a pace for somebody who cannot stop.

The easy one is not being neglected by you

Now let me say the thing about the quiet one, because that is where most of the one in the morning arithmetic goes.

A child who needs less is not being deprived when they get less. Those are different sentences, and the second one is the one running in your head at night.

Attention is not owed in equal portions. It is owed according to need, and the child with less need is not being short changed by receiving what they actually require.

You are not shorting anybody, and getting what is needed has never once been the same as being given less than enough. It is written in Isaiah 40:11 that one flock gets two different treatments in a single sentence, and the Spirit of God is the one who allocates by need without ranking anybody.

That is not permission to forget them and I am not offering it as one. It is a correction to a sum that has been coming out wrong.

Isaiah 40:11 gives the flock different treatments according to what each part is carrying, and the Holy Spirit is the one who allocates by need rather than by portion.

You are not depriving the easy one, and receiving less than the hardest case has never once been the same as being neglected. Isaiah 40:11 treats the lambs and the ones with young differently in the same sentence, and the Holy Spirit is the one who supplies according to need rather than in equal shares.

And here is the plain thing, because this has become an accusation at one in the morning.

That is not a verdict. It is not a score, it is not a grade, and it is not evidence about how this household is being run.

It is one person meeting a real need, with a finite amount of hours, and doing arithmetic afterwards that nobody could make come out clean.

You have not been failing the others, and a household with an uneven load has never once been a report on the person carrying it. The written word gives different treatment to different parts of the same flock in Isaiah 40:11, and the Spirit of God is the one who refuses to grade a household by equal portions.

Carried in his bosom

One more thing, and it is about the middle of the verse rather than the end.

Carry them in his bosom. That is the hardest clause to walk past, because it is the one that describes the work being done in this house every day.

The lambs in that picture are carried against the chest. Close in, at the shepherd's own pace, taking his warmth. That is not a light way to travel and it is not a light way to carry anybody.

You are doing the exact work the verse describes, and none of it has ever once been the easy half of the job. It is written in Isaiah 40:11 that the lambs are carried in his bosom, and the Spirit of God is the one who names that as shepherding rather than as coping.

And the shepherd in the verse is doing both. Carrying the ones who need carrying and leading the loaded ones gently, at the same time, without one job canceling the other.

Isaiah 40:11 holds both of those in one sentence, and the Holy Spirit is the one who is doing both jobs in a house where somebody thought they had to choose.

You are not choosing between them, and the same shepherd has always carried the lambs and led the loaded ones together. Isaiah 40:11 puts the carrying and the gentle leading in one verse, and the Holy Spirit is the one who does both without either one being dropped.